ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE: Stress Accompanying Transitions in
Family Businesses
by Jerry I. Kleiman, Ph.D. & R.
Phillip Colon, Ph.D. [1]
Conflicts in a family owned business are
often fueled by the contrasting needs of family members of different ages and
at disparate stages of their lives. The “younger” family members, who can
themselves be in their 40s and 50’s, are at a point in their lives where they
feel the need for more independence and recognition. As part of their growth,
they feel ready to assert their leadership skills and welcome greater control
in the business. The older generation
can experience the prospects of relinquishing even some control within the
business as difficult and may feel their stature diminished. For most entrepreneurs,
business has been a way of life. Contemplating their future outside the
business when the business was a major component of their identity and a basic
organizer of their efforts can raise anxiety and feelings of vulnerability in
the senior family members. Venturing outside of the business can be an
emotional challenge.
Tensions
arise when each generation is perceived by the other as holding ransom the key
to their well-being. The younger generation views the senior one as holding
them back and the senior members experience the younger ones encroaching on, if
not threatening, their authority. Rather than recognizing the legitimacy of
each others needs, each may feel the other as wanting something at their
expense.
In
a non-family owned business, if a junior executive is not advancing in the
company, he or she can leave. While the same is true in a family owned
business, the process of leaving is a more complicated one. If “the boss,”
is one’s parent or sibling,
one can feel caught in an emotional quagmire. Separation and individuation issues can cloud
reason, making resolution of maturational needs more difficult.
The
senior generation, more advanced in the life cycle, faces very different
challenges. Their issues are more inwardly directed as they no longer need to
prove themselves to others. Their audience is much more difficult- they are
facing themselves. The pertinent question for them is: “What really is
important and what do I want to do with myself in my remaining years?” It is a
time when the word “legacy” has greater meaning. Relationships are revisited
with a desire to “get it right,” or at least better. It is a time of great
opportunity, yet some avoid dealing with these maturational issues as they can
be a reminder of ones’ own mortality and
personal disappointments.
The internal and
interpersonal struggle both generations grapple with during this maturational
process is common. It is a difficult but
important time of personal growth. Both the younger and older generation have something
that the other needs, something which affects their respective futures. The
business solutions are fairly practical and more straight forward. Each member
needs to re-think and re-assess the situation from a realistic, practical
framework and address the underlying needs that may be fueling their demands.
Conflict can be symptomatic of feelings of uncertainty when facing new
challenges. Recognizing what is going on between the lines and talking about
the issues can go a long way towards resuming progressive movement and positive
relationships in both the business and family.
[1]
Drs. Kleiman and