Finalizing Estate Plans

The following is as summary of a presentation made at the Nassau Academy of Law, Nassau County Bar Association, on December 8, 1999.[1]

The Nassau Academy of Law recently held a Dean’s Hour, hosted by the Surrogate’s Court, Estates & Trusts Committee. The topic of the presentation was How To Get Your Clients To Put Their Estate Plans Into Effect. The featured speakers were R. Phillip Colon, Ph.D. and Jerry I. Kleiman, Ph.D., of OPTIMAL RESOLUTIONS, INC., a consulting firm specializing in family conflict management and resolution. From their experience as family psychologists, Drs. Colon and Kleiman shed light on why families tend to avoid or have difficulty completing the estate planning process. Considering the large attendance as well as the questions and comments of the audience , it was apparent that the topic reflected a problem commonly experienced by estate and trust lawyers.

Drs. Colon and Kleiman discussed how ignorance of the tax laws or the dire consequences of not having an estate plan does not adequately explain the phenomena of avoidance that lawyers typically experience. When legal advisors have the opportunity to inquire of their clients as to what is holding up the process, they usually hear a plethora of emotional or relationship concerns from the potential benefactors. Some of the issues usually encountered include:

        I.            Long-standing marital tensions that have been avoided often erupt as parents          discuss options concerning their estate plan and their children.

      II.            Difficulty in coming to terms with the issue of one’s own mortality.

    III.            Discussing disbursement of assets or transferring of power in their family business   can evoke a sense of losing control.

   IV.            Grappling with decisions of "fair vs. equal" in the disbursement of assets to                 offspring. The subject becomes further complicated when there are children from      former marriages.

    V.            Parental concerns that tensions among siblings may be provoked by the estate plan.

  VI.            Fears that the children will be "hurt" by inheriting large sums of money, and lose their motivation to work or succeed.

VII.            Envy on the part of potential benefactors that by inheriting their "hard earned" money their children "will have it easier" than they did.

VIII.            Distrust of their childrens’ maturity and ability to handle bequeathed assets responsibly.

  IX.            Family assets can be "family secrets." While family members often know assets are there, the topic may be rarely discussed. Spouses themselves can be kept in the dark about details of family holdings.

Some legal counselors expect clients who harbor such fears and concerns to simply put them aside in the name of expediency. By not acknowledging these issues and by not dealing with them, the entire estate planning process can be derailed.

Drs. Colon & Kleiman cautioned against using estate planning tools, such as incentives and disincentives, to resolve emotional or relationship problems in the client's family. While such strategies are often helpful, they can also foment resentment and discord between generations, between parents or among siblings.

While lawyers are not family psychologists, the presentation acted as a reminder that they would do well to identify the emotional concerns of their clients. To the degree that they are competent to do so, those in the audience were encouraged to take a proactive approach and address their clients emotional concerns. The direct approach appears to be the best approach. Taking the time during the initial consultation to identify problem areas can save time later on. Surprisingly few in the audience indicated using written questionnaires for their clients to complete on their own time.

 If these suggestions sound too time consuming or beyond the scope of one’s expertise, the estate planner can use other resources to assist in the process. Complex families and/or estate plans at times require a coordinated interdisciplinary team approach.

Drs. Colon and Kleiman view the process of estate planning as another opportunity for family members to address unresolved problems and relationship issues. They suggested that, when possible, offspring be included in the estate planning process. Some parents find that as a consequence of dealing directly with their children, a number of their concerns may be unsubstantiated, outdated, or due to unrealistic expectations on their part. By first identifying their "family value orientation", and by developing a family mission statement, the presenters feel that families can build a common platform from which their differences can often be resolved.

  [1] Drs. Kleiman and Colon are co-founders of Optimal Resolutions, Inc., a consulting group specializing in family-owned businesses. Dr. Colon can be reached at (516) 294-8914.