DEVELOPING BOUNDARIES IN A FAMILY BUSINESS

by Jerry I. Kleiman, Ph.D. & R. Phillip Colon, Ph.D. [1]

There is a famous story about a father calling his son into the office. The father is wearing a two billed baseball cap with separately embroidered emblems saying ‘boss’ and ‘father’. The parent first addresses his son with the ‘boss’ side worn to fore and says “Steven, as your boss I have bad news. You are fired.” He then rotates the cap and says, “Son, is there anything I can do to help you?” This story illustrates the complexities that arise when two separate entities, the family and the business, have overlapping membership.            

            Each separate system, the family and the business, has its own rules, expectations and role responsibilities. It is where the membership of each overlaps that each member has dual roles with potentially divergent goals, codes of conduct and proscribed behavior. The responsibilities of parent/child/sibling or spouse can compete and at times conflict with those of boss/co-leader/employee. It is critical to the success of both the family and the business to keep clear boundaries, expectations, role descriptions, responsibilities, and codes of conduct. Confusion  can lead to conflict , poor business decisions and deteriorating family relationships . Here are some suggestions for maintaining clear boundaries around the business and the family:

*       Identify and specify practical roles and expectations.

*       Practice effective communication aimed at reconciling thoughts and feelings. Remaining silent about issues can accentuate conflict, polarize positions and disrupt both family and business relationships.

*       Recognize that divergent thinking can be experienced as conflict even though closer examination would reveal similar goals.

*       Nurture family relationships so that needs best fulfilled within the family remain the province of the family and not of the business.

*       Have regularly scheduled family and business meetings.

*       When  upset, take an inventory of your feelings. Ask yourself

      If  what you are feeling is consistent with what is going on. If not, you may          be responding to family issues rather than to business matters.

 

  [1] Drs. Kleiman and Colon are co-founders of Optimal Resolutions, Inc., a consulting group specializing in family-owned businesses. Dr. Colon can be reached at (516) 294-8914.